Who Phones the Watchmen?

We all know Alan Moore's comic book masterpieces haven't received the best film treatment imaginable. I actually liked V for Vendetta, though many despised it. But the less said about From Hell or The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen the better. Unless, of course, you're one of the people in charge of making those abominations. In which case, please explain yourself.

And while Watchmen looks to buck the trend, the ancillary merchandising that must surround such a huge studio movie like some kind of crap moat just keeps growing and growing. We now have details on the upcoming Watchmen game for mobile phones. Despite the fact that it's a beat 'em up, the developer promises "gameplay variety". Impossible, you say?

Eh, you're probably right.

While your phone's battery lasts, you'll be able to take control of the Comedian and/or Nite Owl as they punch and kick their way through a plot that takes place before the original comic books or the movie. According to the press release, this game "can be appreciated by newcomers and diehard fans of the graphic novel", which is true only if you replace "appreciated" with "obsessively mocked".

Of course, I haven't played the game yet, so I shouldn't pass judgement. But despite that, I'm still passing judgement.

Source: Glu Mobile